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something for everyone to do!

http://elouai.com/candybar5/dress-up-boys.php and http://elouai.com/candybar5/dress-up-girls.php

it's really really fun! too bad they don't have a lot of girly clothes in the boy's part though...but they do have a lot of pants! i made lots! everyone should do at least some, it'll be really funny and cool to see what you come up with!

okay so here are mine:


this is anne! she does a lot of work for one of the nightclubs i do a lot of styling for but she doesn't make that many appearances though, especially not at daytime because she has sensitive skin or something. she's also a perfect role model for gothic lolitas because she's very polite and always carries around a parasol with her, and is so self-conscious that she won't even eat in public! maybe it's because she's a messy eater, hehe. we'll probably never find out!



and this is nrg, or nanashi! she does a lot of different things for the same nightclub. sometimes i've seen her do dj work, but i think she also does some technician-type stuff and something to do with the security cameras. she's actually sort of shy so i don't know that much about her, but i've heard she lots fast food, and icecream with sherbet topping. lucky~! i wish i could eat heaps of fast food and stay thin like her!



this is ruby! i see her around at parties, usually with adam (who i think is also rage's friend?) and sometimes without her clothes, haha. she and adam seem to be alike in that they're both nice, they both like animals and they both get lucky with both sexes! she goes to a private christian school and i think her dad is a priest. (are they allowed to have children??) ruby has really really really good luck at things like cards and she likes madonna a lot.



and this is a doll i made of jo! i won't say his full first name because he gets really mad whenever that happens sooo...it's a secret~! he works at the modelling agency i used to work at (i quit to focus on styling with lupe) which is also the one candy stll works at, but he doesn't like to hang around us much. he says he prefers more sophisticated company! whenever i see jo he always has a new designer handbag.



this is candy, or candice! like i said she works at a modelling agency and she's really good at it (much better than i ever was), she also gets a lot of front covers on magazines for gals, especially ko-gals and ganguro! candy is super good at rhythmic video games, like the ones where you use drumsticks to hit the beats shown on the screen? she also knows how to do amazing bbq ribs.



this is sin! i met him at a party if you remember and kissed him and then he was dating candy for a while but now we're all just friends. sin is so handy to have around (and fun too!) because he's a maths whiz and he knows the location and opening times of every burger bar in a 100 mile radius (even if i only restrict myself to the salads it's good when we're out late at night). he's always ready to help candy and i out, especially to 'defend our honour' and stuff like that. sin plays the trombone too, in the school band.



it's meeee! hehe i think you guys know lots of stuff about me already!



this is mona! she is my mother, but i always call her mona. she likes her pet lizard momo, her vintage car, champagne and getting her foot rubbed with nice-smelling lotion ('cause they can get a bit smelly, but don't tell her i said that!) oh and she also likes scottish food and kilts. if you talk to her for a while you can sort of pick up a faint scottish accent, because her mother was a norwegian crazy lady who went to scotland to search for the loch ness monster, and met mona's scottish father instead.



the end!

ps i changed my livejournal theme! this one is much happier! plus i love toast and orange juice!


Hullo hullo hulloooo!

Ahhh, wow, it's been so long since I updated! i have a new icon finally too, hahaha. it took me so long to remember how to crop the photo in photoshop! umm...well...news! i'm mostly working with lupe and at the studio but i come into school a couple of days a week to get my basic classes done. and i had my birthday, it was amazing! sin and candy still sort-of-together-maybe (but candy gets embarrassed when i say it like that, heeee, usually she's so stoic!) and i'm still single. :( pout! but i'll tell you what, while i was walking out of assembly i swear the principal touched my bum~! i hope it was him anyway, and not the math teacher...the math teacher is always so angry at me but i guess it's reasonable because i can't do math and he yells at me sometimes. and the principle is really nice! although he can be grumpy too. and yell-y i guess. okay maybe he is a lot like the math teacher, but i like him better ;)

so far i've been working really really hard at my job! lupe is amazing and i love working with him so much! i've also started to do styling work for other people in my spare time. Mona wanted to look younger (she won't tell me her age! but i would guess she's around thirty five) so i had some fun dressing her up ahahahaha. so i'm posting a photograph here - don't worry about her expression, she always looks kind of indignant! it makes her look younger, right? (um, maybe it's a big file, sorry! i'm not very good at this technical stuff...)  it's not *entirely* done yet, i still need to do some matching embroidering on the jacket (in purple) and i'll be adding sequins along the vines i think and after this photo i started to also sew gold theads around the vines on the dress, to make it a bit more glamorous. it definitely needs more sparkles! the makeup was also a kind of slapdash job to just test the colours with the outfit...I'm going to be copying the vine pattern around the edges of her eyes in green with perhaps a bit of gold around them to match the dress...umm...yeah! this is only the beginning. also put in pics of the dress below the waist (it goes down to a little below Mona's knees - sophisticated and modern at the same time, haha!) and the shoes annnnd yeah! how's everyone been? i miss you all!

mmnf

Candice is in hospital again, she's been fainting too often lately so I guess i'm kind of glad because if she's in hospital she might get some proper care. I don't know if her dad's been treating her right actually, because I think I saw some bruises but she just shook her head and told me to finish my mango smoothie. she's really strong to be able to keep it all in, but I kind of think it'd be healthier if she told people once in a while. that's kind of getting me down so I'll talk about something else.

in other news my birthday is coming up! The way the maids are giggling around me and the way Mona's been acting makes me think they're going to do something secret for me, so I've told them my plans so far so that they can arrange whatever they're doing into that. Candy will probably be out of the hospital by then so we'll probably go to the studio together because they're holding a party for me there in the morning at about seven and i need to do a shoot there, then i need to go work with Lupe (he gave me the job, thank you so much Mikhael! <3 <3 <3 <3) from just after noon until about seven pm, and then I'll come home and do whatever Mona wants. i think I might be going on a small vacation too, just over the weekend, to one of the islands just to chill out with Candy. It'll be fun.

ooooohhhhh

hello everryone! i feel so alive, i've been having wonderful times at parties (being careful by not drinking too much! :D), like the one rage was at that he wrote about in his journal. cory was a little mean to me (i guess he wasn't joking around with me :S oh well) and he told me he was the one who put the poem into my locker and that i was stupid to believe someone would actually write that to me when they could just ask and i'd give them head. mnfff. i'll just have to keep looking.

maybe an older man! i love older guys so much. <3 and i bet they could teach me loads, you know...balance my immaturity (hopefully!) and share their experiences with me. i think my ideal guy would be older...and he'd be super duper caring, but he'd be real rough in some aspects too and a bit of a grumpypants <3

but then again, i kind of want to have a taste of everything before i choose one...or...or i'd like to have maybe one guy for each day of the week, hhaahaha. i'm so greedy, i know. but i love everyone so much and everyone has such nice qualities about them and they all vary, how am i supposed to choose?

in other news i've been sticking to my diet really well, keeping a steady weight. it's nice.

:(

school is so much hard work, i'm really starting to fall behind. i've got an interview with lupe sometime next week though, so hopefully i'll be able to leave school to start working. i just don't think i've ever been suited to school, i'm not good at mathematics or anything super smart like that.

speaking of super smart, i found out that sin (that guy i kissed...) is a super smart mathematician in training! i found it out because he's kind of dating candice now and she found his secret stash of trophies after he invited her to his apartment. isn't it nice that they have a relationship? relationships sound so nice.

i'm getting hopeful myself, because i got this lovely poem from anonymous in my locker. i'll type it out for you:

"you are the moon flower blossoming in this poisonous decaying smog,
hidden by the filthy muck of your peers as we wade in our own filth like blinded pigs,
you give reason to my bleeding heart and bleeding wrists and bleeding eyes,
the french milled soap to my mud,
this painful black abyss of my soul that I long to erase.

xoxoxoxo,

xXvampirefreakXx"


i guess they must like vampires (i hope they don't want me for my blood, i am blood type O and i hear it has a lot of uses!)  candice said she thought it sounded like a joke parody of a crappy emo poem though...i don't know, i think i would like to have this kind of poetry written to me, i think it's so romantic. though all the bleeding is a little worrying. i hope they aren't terminally ill, that's so sad, but if they are i'll just have to help them as much as i can!

omigosh

this guy is *so* cute!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah9L1bIPy4U

i mean he must be in his twenties or something, but he's sooooooooooo cuuuute! look at that lovely smile! and his cute choice of clothing mmmmmm and he's so funny!

excitement!

some textiles students from one of the fashion design colleges around here are using me for a model for one of the colleges fashion shows, and i have to keep my weight steady so that the measurements they take don't change - it'd be a disaster if i lost too much weight/gained too much weight and couldn't wear the clothes for the show!


so i'm going to design myself a diet that will be versatile enough for me to not get sick of it, even though i'll have to eat it for maybe a month or two!

breakfast:
1/2 cup of apple or orange to wake me up and give me some energy, cut into cubes so it's easier to eat
100g fruit yoghurt
1 slice of wholegrain toast with a thin layer of vegetable spread
1 cup of soy milk


lunch:
vegetable and rice ball with some cheese in ingredients, vegetables eg spinach/carrot/chickpea/can switch for variety. should be equivalent to one cup of rice and 1/2 cup of vegetables. can have tomato salsa as topping, but no more than 1/4 cup.
sourdough sandwich containing two slices of bread/one roll with two thin slices of smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers or wholegrain sandwich with two thin slices of roast chicken and salad greens equivalent to about 1/2 cup.
1 cup of skim milk

dinner:
1 cup cream of corn soup or cream of tomato
1 cup pasta with olive oil, sunflower seeds, pesto or 1/4 cup beef with 1/4 cup broccoli with 1/2 cup rice.
1/2 cup fruit salad with 1/4 cup yoghurt for dessert
1 cup of fruit juice or fruit nectar, eg pineapple/watermelon, kiwi/strawberry, apricot, mango


snacks:
allowed to have 2 throughout day, can be
1/4 cup roasted sunflower seeds
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup almonds

and of course as much water as i want.

ngnm.

people are really strange. i was walking home from a shoot and i usually go through the...well. less safe parts of the city, really, but i often go there and i usually don't have a problem, but this time i was walking along and i saw a row of vending machines and i realised i was kind of thirsty, so i got out some coins to get some apricot nectar/juice and there was a guy next to me buying used underwear from the machine beside me. i guess i didn't notice at first, because it was dark being nighttime and he was wearing dark clothing. but i noticed after i turned around with my juice because i realised i needed a bottle opener, and then i saw him properly in the light of the vending machines. he had these slanted dark eyes, and a curved nose, and little tufts of black hair sticking out from his beanie. really attractive features. anyway i asked him if he could help me open the bottle and he unzipped his jeans and pissed on me.

and i think he said 'drink that instead' but i was kind of out of it at the time so i don't remember. after that i just kind of stood around awkwardly for a while before going home, with him laughing in the background.

uhhhhhmmmmnnnn

i feel a little nauseous, one of the maids just made like a whole vatful of bubblegum icecream and i've gone and gorged myself on it - i must've eaten about five huge bowlfuls, its so addictive! but i don't feel tooooo guilty about it because at least i know what went in it and it was kind of worth it because i was eating it with some of the maids and Mona (my mother, but i don't call her that unless it's to explain her relationship to me because she doesn't like being called mother and i don't really think of her as one)  and we drank champagne and the mixture of alcohol and sugar made Mona kind of get all blubbery and hysteric and she began telling us about how when she was a teenager she'd gone out with her dad's medicine money to buy his medicine when she'd met some people from school and they sold her tickets to a concert of the musical artist she was crazy about (she was always dreaming that she'd marry him and that kind of thing) and she didn't have anything on her but her dad's medicine money so she used that and she felt really guilty about it and it turned out that the tickets were bogus and she got upset and the guys who'd sold them to her laughed at her for being poor and after they went away she cried and cried and cried and thought about how much she wanted to kill her classmates. but that was illegal and doing illegal things when you're poor is never good because the legal system's prejudiced, so she just decided she'd get rich and then show everyone who was boss.

and she did.

and after she did she tracked those guys down at a school reunion, and she calculated everything perfectly so that it looked completely incidental that this gorgeous, affluent woman bumped into them and she used all of her charm to seduce them completely before making a fool out of them in front of everyone else and loving the looks on their faces when she told them who she was and reminded them of what they'd done to her all the way through highschool.

learning these things about Mona is good, i guess, because we really only connect on a shallow level but it's starting to get deeper. i've never understood why she's so promiscuous and why she's always lied to thomas (the man she's married to, and my father, i think) but at the same time i feel the same urges to do all kinds of dirty things and i know if i acted upon them i'd be called a slut or a whore like Mona...i mean i'm not proud of it but i'd like to be able to do what i want without...having to face other people's judgements when it's really not their business you know? even my own judgements, i'd like to avoid them. because if i don't, then i'll pretty much be stuck in a state of self loathing because i'm on my way to becoming Mona, and right now i don't think i want to be the person she is - always manipulating people around her to get what she wants, and never being satisfied, because her dream when she was younger was so big that when it crashed she always feels the need to surpass it again, and again...

and again....

this is making me really sad. i think i'll go read some funny shoujo manga in the bath while listening to maaya sakamoto or madonna or kylie and paint my nails after ward. i got this really sweet manga called B.O.D.Y which is about a girl who falls in love with a male escort, it's really nice, i love reading romance because it makes my heart feel really full but light at the same time you know? i also got this delicious watermelon scented bath set i plan on using, it's got soap and lotion and bubblebath and salts and bathbombs and oils, and it matches with the watermelon scented green, pink and black nailpolish i got from DL on the weekend mmmm i'm going to smell so good, i can't wait. candice is too, because i bought her similar things but in this deliciously spicy orange and cinnamon scent, and the nailpolish is orange and brown. i bet when we get together next we'll just sniff ourselves heaps. (or maybe just me, i don't think candice likes to be seen as creepy like that)

it's an update! and i have an icon now yay



Thought I'd give people a preview of the next Star Gazers magazine! This is just the most basic draft so far - they're just putting the two main features and the title, along with a brief rundown of the colour scheme - the layout hasn't even been decided or anything. The picture of me hasn't been edited yet either, so it's just been slapped on raw, but I think they'll be making the colours brighter and they might tweak some of my features too. I'm pretty happy - I think they're including one of my interviews in there! It's really exciting, I can't wait until it comes out. Candice got a cover in a magazine too - one of the Ganguro magazines, because she looks Ganguro naturally because she has really nice browny skin and a white stripe down her nose.

I've been to a couple more parties recently, but in my mother's circle of friends rather than my own, so there were loads of famous people about. I had a fair few asking me about my makeup - it got me thinking, once I get over modelling (it'll happen - there's a point where they just don't want you anymore :() I could try being a fulltime makeup artist. It could be an alternative to being a fashion consultant, which I was also thinking about. I don't know...I know I want to be in the fashion industry, because I can't seem to do anything else very well, but I also know that people can be real jerks in there too.

Whatever it is, I think I need to get started soon. I'll probably drop out of high school at this point - I got my report back, and I got an A in photography, but I got C's and lower in everything else. Kind of shocking marks, really, but I'm just not good at school...come to think of it neither was my mother. She always wanted to be an important award winning doctor, to show everyone who picked on her in highschool up and because her father was chronically ill, but she never made it because her grades were terrible and her family had no money. So instead she became a nurse, and she took the first chance to get rich that came along by marrying my father. I don't think she's in love with him. The way Mona treats him is kind of how I imagine she would have treated her own father. I mean she has sex with him and stuff. But she never lightens up when he comes into the room, and her voice isn't full of the eagerness she has during sex like it is with all the other men and woman she sleeps with.

I tried to use proper grammar and stuff in this post, because I want to be able to write properly, but it's really tiring!

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